She is searching for us too, through everything, trying to touch us. To touch our hearts, our souls, a touch of life, so that we can be truly alive again. But we are not available to her.
Be available to life.
And I am neither speaking of any great spiritual thing here nor a practice. It is so simple, so utterly simple, and plain. So simple and clear like Chinese paintings of bamboo leaves. So clear and simple like the first line drawn by a small child in his first book.
Be available to yourself start to Love yourself.
Just a little bit and the alchemy starts to happen, the nectar starts to drip, the clouds become pregnant. There is a lot of jargon created in name of spirituality and practice, a lot of illusions to an extent that the word spirituality itself has become a specialty and entangled itself into esoteric and metaphysical garbage. There is no separate phenomenon called spirituality. Life itself. Life itself is the greatest spiritual happening. Rest of all is secondary.
Be available to life and the only way to be available to life is by being available to oneself.
Life is looking at us and we are looking at somewhere else. We are not at our homes. Running here and there, constantly, incessantly, insanely, wounded, suffering.
Always out of our homes. Whenever life comes knocking on our doors, it finds that we are not available to it, how can we be? How can we, when we are not available to ourselves?
Stop and just be still, just for a moment, just for a moment. Let the winds touch you, let the breeze say what it has to say to you, let the stream wash away the dust from your heart , let the fallen leaves transfer you the message that your life is not permanent and yet let the new born leaves transfer you the message that life is the only existing permanency.
But this can happen; these things can touch us only if we are available to ourselves.
What do I mean by being available to one self?
I mean being centered in one self.
Be utterly loving towards onself, be utterly selfish. That’s the only key, the only wisdom, the only beauty. The only benediction.
Be Lovingly selfish.
Now this is very contradictory. Yes it appears contradictory, yet it is not.
Take great care to see that you are available to yourself, available in all manners. Usually we are never available to ourselves, we never care about ourselves. We have loaned ourselves to many, many, many. We have loaned ourselves to Hatred, we have loaned ourselves to greed, to jealousy, to anger, to competition, we have given a large part of ourselves to our ambitions, a big chunk of ourselves in proving to others what we are.
We have given a great part of ourselves in planning for the next years, a great part of ourselves we have loaned to indulge ourselves in things so that we do not see our true face.
Have we ever considered it?
Someone gives us an insult and we so easily take it and we give it space within us to accommodate that. The space that was meant for us, the memory and the pain of that insult owns it now. We loaned that place to it .We loaned a part of ourselves to it. Now something useless as an insult surely does not deserve a great seat within our hearts. But we go on giving it. Something useless as anger or hatred simply does not deserve a place in something as great and pious as our hearts. Yet we are going on giving it.
Take that place back, take yourself back, these things do not deserve us. Be selfish. Just think about your cleanliness. Do not take garbage given by others. Do not let others dump their garbage into you.
Be Lovingly selfish, do not let our life energy invest itself in hands of anger or hatred and go to others. For even in being angry or hating someone we are giving a large part of our heart to them.
Let everything that takes birth in you, fall in you. That’s what is happening .Everything returns back to its source. The clouds take water from the sea, shower it on earth, the streams and rivers take that water back to ocean, for the ocean to transfer it to clouds again.
Let your energy circle itself, let the circuit be complete. It is when the flow stops the decaying happen. So be selfish clean your house.
Clean your house within. A lot of anger, a lot of disappointments, a lot of hatred, a lot of shattered dreams, a lot of broken promises, a lot of emotional darts a lot of arrows have hit and are residing there in our hearts. Be selfish, you need a place to live. They have accumulated so much space within that it is simply impossible for us to move around to sit and relax. .
Be lovingly selfish in real meaning. Attend to yourself. As we go on getting rid of all this garbage, we start to live more and more in ourselves. Usually it was this garbage that had acquired this place, our hearts. Now we can return our home once it is clean. Now we can be available to ourselves, nurture ourselves. Live ourselves, breathe ourselves.
Usually we never love ourselves. This is truth. For most of time we are spending so much energy, so much of ourselves to stupid things.
We are trading diamonds for pebbles. Be available to yourself and things will go on changing. A beauty will start to arise. There is no greater pain than to be lonely. There is no greater joy than to be aware that you are alone and are complete.
And once you are full of love towards your self in its real sense. Life touches you. Life embraces you with ten thousand arms.
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